Last semester, UNI’s campus morphed into a nightmarish funhouse as numerous students reported being terrorized by anonymous individuals disguised as creepy clowns at night.

Fortunately, this campus-wide nightmare didn’t last long, as the frequency of the clown sightings eventually dwindled down to zero by the end of the semester. And although the departure of the clowns largely came as a relief to the UNI community, their inexplicable disappearance led many to question just what caused the clowns’ sudden exodus.

However, that mystery now seems to be finally unraveling as a UNI facilities employee made a shocking discovery late last Friday.

Emma Kelly, who heads the daily facility operations in Seerley Hall, was reportedly cleaning out the UNI president’s office, which is housed in the first floor of the building, when she came across an item that left her in shock.

“I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw it,” Kelly said. “There, tucked away in the corner of the room was — as plain as day — a red nose! I’ll be honest, I almost fainted when I saw it. But I was able to regain my composure in time to call my colleagues into the room to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.”

Indeed, Kelly’s eyes weren’t playing tricks on her. According to Kelly, she had been reorganizing the president’s office in preparation for President Mike Gnook’s first day on the job. The red nose was allegedly balanced atop a box in the corner of the room that was labeled “Rude’s Secret Stuff – Don’t Touch!”

Kelly told the Northern Iowan (NI) in an interview that the box itself had been emptied and that the red nose was the only item left with the box.

Although there was no other evidence to support her claim, Kelly asserts that the red nose is proof that former UNI President Will B. Rude had an explicit connection with last semester’s clown sightings.

“I don’t care what anyone says — that red nose proves that Rude was behind those clown sightings all along!” Kelly said. “I had heard talk around Seerley before he left last year that he was a notorious prankster. He loved a good whoopie cushion! And I think this whole clown business was his last-ditch effort to get one last prank in before he left.”

Kelly said she believes that Rude, who assumed the responsibilities of president at Scary Debtors’ College in Ohio back in August, would come back to Cedar Falls every weekend to terrorize the students in full clown regalia.

Tim Tollcart, who was named interim president following Rude’s departure, strongly denied these allegations leveled against Rude.

“I don’t know who this Emma Kelly thinks she is, but the accusations that she’s making are ludicrous — plain and simple,” Tollcart said. “Rude was a good — no, a great — man! And we should be lucky as a university that we were blessed with his presence for even one year — let alone the three he so selflessly gave us.”

Despite Tollcart’s adamant denial of Rude’s alleged connection to the clown sightings, reports from officials at Scary Debtors’ College seem to support Kelly’s claims.

According to Jan Bland, the provost at Scary Debtors’ College, Rude had routinely taken weekend trips for “personal reasons” throughout last semester.

“Rude has already done such great work here at Scary Debtors, and we’re so glad to have him as our president,” Bland said. “However, with that being said, I have to say that he left the university quite a bit last semester. Almost every single weekend, he would inform us that he would have to leave for a few days. He’d never say where. He’d never say why — only that it was ‘personal.’”

Kelly agrees that the reason behind Rude’s weekend absences was personal — very personal.

“I’m telling you, Rude was the one behind all those clown sightings! Don’t believe me? Well, did you know that every weekend that Rude took one of his so-called ‘personal trips,’ that there was a clown sighting here at UNI?” Kelly said. “That’s right — every single weekend!”

According to Kelly, she had checked in with officials at Scary Debtors, and they confirmed that Rude was unaccounted for during every weekend that there was a clown sighting at UNI.

“This is all just crazy conspiracy theories and urban legends,” Tollcart said. “I mean, just think about it for a second. If Rude really was behind the clown sightings, then why did the sightings stop all of a sudden at the end of the semester? Please explain that one to me. Why would he just stop?”

Kelly said that she believes the sightings stopped as UNI’s presidential search committee got closer and closer to selecting Rude’s successor. According to Kelly, the prospect of having someone other than Tollcart leading UNI scared him away.

“Rude and Tollcart were in bed together — everybody knew that,” Kelly said. “By the time it was announced that Mike Gnook was taking over, the clown sightings just, kind of, stopped. Coincidence? I think not.”

President Gnook had not responded to the Northern Iowan’s request for comment as of press time.

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