“Don’t waste your time. That girl is a tease.”

I literally heard this phrase in one of my classes not long ago. I thought guys were only that ridiculous in the movies. I guess I was wrong.

Everyone knows the classic double standard: if a guy sleeps around then he is a player, but if a girl sleeps around she is a slut. This is just the way it has been for a long time. Perhaps it’s the age-old notion that women are supposed to be faithful and loyal to one man, while it’s all right if the man sleeps with other women, that fuels this imbalanced treatment. This idea has been around for centuries. While it seems to be changing lately, it has not disappeared.

Wherever it comes from, it’s just wrong. I think sleeping around, if you are male or female, should be frowned upon. In my opinion, sex is supposed to be an intimate connection between two people after knowing one other for more than just a few hours. While it is an important part of a relationship for many people, it definitely shouldn’t be the only part.

Sleeping around also has all kinds of other scary side effects. Sexually transmitted diseases, babies (which may not be scary, but I sure don’t want one right now), low self-esteem and a tarnished reputation can all be a result of being too promiscuous.

As for the gentleman (if I can call him that) that provided me with my opening quote, I feel sorry for you if all you are after is sex in a relationship. I feel that if anyone is not ready to have sex with someone, then they shouldn’t, plain and simple. Your uneasiness or unwillingness should not be labeled a tease, whether you’re male or female.

A lot of people don’t realize when they are being a tease, so just pay attention to your actions and what you are saying. Could it be taken another way? A lot of times, the best way to prevent being a tease is to just straight out say: “Nothing is going to happen between us.”

That seems pretty clear to me. People, male or female, need this kind of up-front “tell-it-like-it-is” statement from time to time.
You should also keep in mind that you need permission from the other person before you engage in any sexual activity. Verbal consent is extremely important.

Sex is a delicate subject for people who regard it with the importance and intimacy it deserves. Casual sex obviously threatens its value. I feel sorry for those who think that sex should be an objective of the relationship. If you are uneasy about “going all the way,” then don’t.