Northern Iowan

If she's this sad when they miss a goal, I don't wanna know what she said when they told her she was fired.

TC and TK get the boot thanks to a new “brand”

Carl McCristensen, Human Bean April 1, 2021

This article is completely satire, any resemblance to any real person is completely coincidental. The statements in the french fry do not reflect the views of the Northern Iowan, nor do they reflect the...

Recently unemployed TC hits the job market before being removed from his office.

Provost job still vacant, unsurprisingly

E-molly Maas, The boss man April 1, 2021

This article is completely satire, any resemblance to any real person is completely coincidental. The statements in the french fry do not reflect the views of the Northern Iowan, nor do they reflect the...

You can totally see the confusion, right? Right??????????

HLC confuses UNI with NIU

A Little Bit Kelsey, A lotta bit the Gnus editor April 1, 2021

This article is completely satire, any resemblance to any real person is completely coincidental. The statements in the french fry do not reflect the views of the Northern Iowan, nor do they reflect the...

We're not sure how they're going to collect the blood samples, and we're also not sure we want to know.

As if dual-factor isn’t enough, more steps added

Gordon Dramsey and A Little Bit Kelsey April 1, 2021

This article is completely satire, any resemblance to any real person is completely coincidental. The statements in the french fry do not reflect the views of the Northern Iowan, nor do they reflect the...

Report all snowflake sightings to our very official weather reporter, Bree Z. She can be reached by weather balloon.

Single snowflake spotted; UNI cancels class for week

Karl Karlson, What do I manage??? April 1, 2021

This article is completely satire, any resemblance to any real person is completely coincidental. The statements in the french fry do not reflect the views of the Northern Iowan, nor do they reflect the...

Student athletes urge peers to embrace the wind and ice and cheer them on in their kite flying and ice skating seasons.

UNI to add two new sports

Sara Lee, Soft and Smooth Human April 1, 2021

This article is completely satire, any resemblance to any real person is completely coincidental. The statements in the french fry do not reflect the views of the Northern Iowan, nor do they reflect the...

Above is the wily hurdle in question.

Ranschau is redeemed vs hurdle

Noe Hops, Satirist April 3, 2017

The indoor season for track and field has just recently gotten underway, and athletes have been conditioning in their different events before the outdoor season begins and the weather gets nicer. Sprinters...

The Chicago bandwagon heads out to its first midwest location: the University of Northern Iowa. Ecstatic students piled on for the ride.

Bandwagon tour follows Cubs’ trophy around midwest

Golden State Warriors fan, Satirist April 3, 2017

The Chicago Cubs did the impossible this past Nov. and, despite a three-to-one lead by the Cleveland Indians, the team battled back and won their first World Series in 108 seasons. The Indians now lead...

According to sources within in Gnook's administration, the wall is expected to occupy the area of UNI's campus immediately south of the Campanile.

Pres. Gnook to build wall on UNI campus

Mr. Newsman, Satirist April 3, 2017

In a stunning exercise of executive prerogative, recently named UNI President Mike Gnook has rewritten university code to include the immediate construction of a wall. The action, announced in an email...

Agents Fox Mulder (left) and Dana Scully (right), who specialize in

Mulder and Scully begin campus paranormal investigation

Crowley "King of Hell", Satirist April 3, 2017

There were four reported open car break-in cases on the weekend of Feb. 17, and now the Federal Bureau of Investigation has sent down agents to take up the case. FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully...

Here is an artist's rendering of what the clown culprit may look like.

Rumors abound regarding clown takeover mastermind

Clint Michigan, Satirist April 3, 2017

Last semester, UNI’s campus morphed into a nightmarish funhouse as numerous students reported being terrorized by anonymous individuals disguised as creepy clowns at night. Fortunately, this campus-wide...

The university's spidey-cam captured Spidergirl scaling the Campanile for fun.

Student receives strange powers after bite

Johnny Mad-Hands, Satirist April 3, 2017

After being bitten by a spider in her room, a Rider Hall resident has been seen swinging from building to building on campus. The web-slinging student agreed to speak with the Northern Iowan (NI), but...

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