Note: The French Fry is an excerise in satire. The following articles and images are of a humorous nature and do not reflect actual events on campus or thoughts, beliefs and actions of the individuals mentioned. Any resemblence of any persons dead of living is just because we are awesome and we think you're awesome, too. Advertisers of pages other than 3,4,5 or 6 are in no way associated with The French Fry.

At the March 16 meeting of the Cedar Falls City Council, the council voted 6-1 in favor of banning all tandem bicycles within the city limits of Cedar Falls, stating that the occupancy rate of such vehicles violate all reasonable standards of modal transportation. 

Bob Jenkins, UNI professor of Kinetics, stated that in order to get a tandem bicycle both started and stopped required energy greater than two times the sum of two people on individual bicycles, therefore creating greater wear and tear on the Cedar Falls bike trails, thus necessitating an increase in property taxes and a lowering of property values should the tandem bikes be allowed to continue in usage. 

The lone dissenting voice on the council, Jon Latherby, stated that the city ordinance for medical marijuana could not get passed soon enough. 

Mayor Junket laughed audibly at Latherby’s remark and said he “could not think of a single person currently residing in Cedar Falls who would want to smoke marijuana, let alone legalize it.” 

In response, Latherby closed his eyes and dropped his head to the table, causing Councilman Ernst to wake up and clap, thinking that Mayor Junket had gaveled the meeting to a close. 

Objectors to the council were numerous and coupled in nature, arguing that the city council was overstepping its boundaries for the last time and henceforth, there would be a group of hand-holding protesters outside the city hall at all hours, chanting, “We do it in twos or we all lose!”