Q: I can never get looking at the opposite sex right. I’m either caught looking and they think I’m a pig or I’m avoiding eye contact all together. How can I acknowledge the opposite sex without looking like a creep?

A: Anthony Mitchell
I honestly believe that this alone should be taught as part of the Liberal Arts Core, not even kidding. I can see it now, “How to check out the opposite sex, section 01-03.” Fastest course to fill up in University of Northern Iowa history? I think so.

Kidding aside, checking out the opposite sex boils down to what you are saying with your eyes and your body language. While that seems like common sense, it is pretty amazing how often guys screw that up.

To quote the great Billy Crystal, “When I see a nice painting, I look at it but I don’t pull it off the wall.” Apply that same mentality to your eyes.

The first pointer is obvious: keep your eyes in the right place at all times. Women can spot wandering eyes a mile away; it is a true talent. So if you are a woman, kudos! Keep your eyes with their eyes but don’t stare either; even with the best intentions, it is a little creepy.

Second, keep your mind in the right place. Odd as it may seem, your face says as much as your eyes. Make sure you’re thinking “Wow, you are incredibly attractive,” as opposed to “Sex!” because that will generally transcend into your facial expression. Of course, you still could be called a pig regardless of what you are thinking. Women are complicated.

And lastly, don’t make a big deal out of it. Being overly vocal about a woman’s appearance is an almost guaranteed fail. The odd thing about this is that it does not go both ways. If a guy has a girl yelling that he’s attractive, his night has been made. Bottom line, if you want to appreciate how someone looks, just be smart about it all around. If you get called out, even with good intentions, don’t worry about it. We all feel differently about our appearance, so you win some and lose some. As long as what you are communicating with your eyes and face isn’t in the gutter, you’ll be fine.

A: Katie Hunt
I was walking to class about a week ago wearing a purple sweatshirt when a guy came up to me out of nowhere and told me I looked good in purple.

He then walked off with his buddies, laughing. Now, I’m not saying I didn’t love the compliment, but I’m not going to take what he said as anything more than a pickup line. Maybe if he would have walked up to me and made eye contact with me it wouldn’t have seemed that way.

Basically, the solution to your problem is simple. If you don’t want to come off as a creep then you need to approach her (or him) as a gentle, non-threatening person with good intentions. If you’re not ready to approach yet, then make sure while you’re just looking, you’re making eye contact and not staring them up and down. Think about it: if you caught a glimpse of somebody eyeing you and they were looking you in the face, smiling, you’d take it as innocent flirting and most likely not be offended. Consider how you would feel if just the opposite would occur–if they were just checking you out.

One thing you need to remember, though, is that looking down or looking away will most definitely not land you a date. You need to look at them and give them just enough to grab their attention. Maybe even a smile or a “Hey.” Trust me, they’ll be thinking about you after you’ve walked away. The next time you see them, try a different approach. Initiate a conversation or maybe even walk with them.

Remember, the last thing you want to do is stare blankly at them from a distance. That’s one way you’ll definitely come across as a creep. Also, try to stay away from the cheesy pickup lines. I can’t speak for everyone, but from my experience, most of the time they don’t work no matter how flattering they may be. And last, don’t be afraid to be the initiator. Strike up a conversation and give them something to remember you by.