Q: I really like this guy I’m friends with. Is it okay for me to ask him out?

He said:

There are three things in life that will make me giddy with glee: tickets to a KISS concert, a Vikings victory and not being dealt the friend card. Though I’m mildly joking on the last one, not being dealt the friend card is a victory for nice guys everywhere.

With that said, you also have to be aware of the consequences you could face by stepping outside the friend zone and into the deadly, uncharted relationship territory.

Dating a friend has its advantages, no doubt. You are already comfortable with each other from being friends, so the first couple months of relationship development has already taken place. Not only is dating a friend easier, but it’s a time saver! It really opens up your schedule if you think about it. I kid.

In all seriousness, dating a friend should be a very easy transition as long as you go into it with an open mind. Don’t go into it thinking, “Wow, this is weird; I’m dating a friend.”

If you were friends to begin with, you are obviously comfortable around each other, so what’s the big deal?

The most common concern I’ve heard about dating a friend is the possibility of sabotaging everything the two of you established prior to dating. While it is a legitimate concern, I don’t feel that it needs to hinder a possible relationship. If you are worried about what could happen if a relationship ends, I would highly suggest reevaluating the way you handle a break-up. Or to go further, stop focusing on the end of the relationship when it hasn’t even begun.

I have a universal attitude when it comes to relationships. With me, everyone starts on an even playing field, and if I think there’s that extra spark that could develop into a successful relationship, I act on it. Sometimes that spark doesn’t come immediately, and that’s OK. You remain friends. Bottom line, don’t let the fact that it’s an established friendship get in the way. Follow your heart, and if you feel it’s the right thing to do, ask your friend out.

She said:

I feel like for some reason girls have it in their heads that they can’t be the ones to initiate a conversation or ask a guy out. I can see where the traditional views of a man asking a woman on a date first might get in the way, but that’s just not how our society is today. Sure, some things never really change, but in a lot of aspects people are growing in individuality and openness. People have generally evolved into being more accepting of differences and breaking free of traditions.

So you should really be saying to yourself, “Why wouldn’t I ask this guy out?” There really is no reason you shouldn’t. The thing about asking a guy out is that it doesn’t have to be done so blunt or forward, but rather, something you can casually bring up. If you’re nervous, don’t make it sound like anything different than just getting together – if it turns out to feel like more of a date, great. But it’s always just kind of interesting to see where things will go.

If you think you can muster up the confidence to tell him you want to go out with him, more power to ya. I don’t think we should let fear stand in our way of the things we really want. I know that it’s hard when it actually comes down to making those painful decisions to step outside of your comfort zone, but it can be so rewarding when you do. I guarantee that any mistake you could possibly make has already been made by someone else, so hopefully you find relief in that.

He may say that he just wants to keep things on a friend level, and sometimes being pushed into the friend zone can hurt. But it’ll be for the best in the long run. If he doesn’t think of you romantically, then you don’t want to waste your time with him. You’ll find someone better.

Be an assertive, strong woman and take that chance. Ask him out because it’s perfectly OK.