Campanile calamity: UNI’s iconic structure vanished into the night!



He is free.

Nuke Neighbors, Some Guy

The French Fry is completely satire. Any resemblance to any real person is completely coincidental. The statements in the French Fry do not reflect the views of the Northern Iowan, nor do they reflect the views of the advertisements outside of this insert. 

UNI’s iconic Campanile has been kept in a chain link fence for the past several months. The part that UNI faculty left out was the reason why.

On the morning of Wednesday, March 29 the Campanile’s enclosure was discovered to be empty and the fence was left ajar. Officials have released a statement detailing the escape, estimating it to have taken place around 11:30 p.m. the previous night. They also believe the Campanile snuck behind Seerley during its escape. Luckily, no bystanders sustained any injuries from the event. UNI police are taking statements from any student or faculty in the area at the time of the incident. 

While the Campanile’s motives remain unknown, many students are speculating that the Campanile has been wanting to escape for a while, but now with its bells being replaced it could make a clean getaway without being heard. 

Local law enforcement are still tracking the Camplanile’s whereabouts and they would like to remind everyone that Campanile is about 100 feet tall, with red and brown bricks and a large clock on all sides. The Campanile answers to the name Homer, is considered very docile, and shouldn’t pose any danger. 

The Campanile has left local authorities baffled by how a 96 year old structure could escape so easily. They have turned to several possibilities including the involvement of an accomplice. The fence that held the Campanile was locked from the outside, giving easy access to anybody in the direct vicinity. So far no suspects have been brought in for questioning, but the campus will be notified of any changes. 

Nobody knows where the Campanile has gone. Very few clues were left in the wake of its escape. Officials believe it may have gone somewhere sentimental, a place where it has good memories. The Campanile will be missed until it is safely returned and we can only hope it stays safe while local authorities attempt to locate the elusive structure.