Schindler Education Center takes flight


Malibu Schmootz

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Schindler Education Center!

Carl McChristensen, Human Bean

The French Fry is completely satire. Any resemblance to any real person is completely coincidental. The statements in the French Fry do not reflect the views of the Northern Iowan, nor do they reflect the views of the advertisements outside of this insert. 

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Schindler Education Center! For years students have noticed Schindler looks suspiciously like a UFO, and these suspicions were confirmed last Friday when the top half of the building broke off and hurled itself into the atmosphere at light speed. Luckily, no students or professors were present when the UFO blasted into space.

The Dean for the College of Education, Molleen Culholland, responded to this incident stating, “Our education department is, quite literally, out of this world. We are actively working with President Nark Mook to see what steps can be taken to retrieve the top half of our building.”

Contact with the aliens has been attempted by members of UNI’s IT department, however they have yet to hear back concerning the whereabouts of the aliens and UFO.

Education student Al E. Gator was aghast to learn of the UFO’s presence.

“I’ve always thought Schindler kind of looked like a UFO, but I never would have thought it was an actual UFO. I also left my laptop changer in Schindler so I guess I’m not getting that back anytime soon.”

An investigation ordered by President Nark Mook following the UFO’s startling departure found the construction of Schindler was a cover up by the U.S. government to hide a UFO in 1973. The U.S. government has refused to comment on this matter.

Due to the current condition of Schindler, education students have been temporarily moved into Curris Business Building. This has caused slight annoyance between business and education majors, as some elementary education majors have taken to be-dazzling Curris with inspirational bulletin boards and colorful stickers. The Board of Regents has been contacted by university officials to get funding to rebuild Schindler as soon as possible.