Editor’s Note: Siblings have a unique bond that little else can touch. Whether you adore your sibling and would do anything for them, or whether you think they’re annoying and wish they would stop following you around, it’s something special to you both. UNI houses many sibling students, and this story is the final of three in a series about sibling relationships at UNI and how those sibling dynamics change when you share the same college campus.
Finding someone that you trust implicitly and feel like you can rely on no matter what seems like a difficult task for most of us. It’s not like you’re just born with someone you can just trust and feel support from immediately, right? Well, as it turns out, for some people, they are born with immediate support and friendship in the form of a sibling. One step further than that, the really lucky ones are born with a twin.
Someone who is so intertwined into your own being — someone who is your memories, your past, your future — that being without them feels like being without an arm or a leg. There is a moment in many twins’ lives — many siblings’ lives — where you have to face a hard decision. When it’s time to grow up and move out, do you choose to go apart from each other? What do you decide when the person who is so important to you might not be around you like they have been for your whole life?
Well, you choose to stick together, of course.
At least, that’s the option John and Luke Efting went with when they had to decide what to do when they went to college. One-fifth of younger siblings follow their older siblings to college, as the 2014 Harvard Study reports, and it seems this statistic holds for twins as well.
The University of Northern Iowa has had many sets of sibling students pass through its lecture halls, and Luke and John are just another example of how powerful a sibling bond can be.
John and Luke are both seniors at the University of Northern Iowa. John is majoring in marketing with a minor in sports communications, and Luke is majoring in sports administration with a minor in business communications.
When deciding where they would go to college, the twins always had UNI on their radar. It turns out that UNI runs in the Efting family, as both of their parents are UNI alums and so is their older sister, Annie. When the twins were young, they accompanied Annie on a visit to UNI and remembered the time they spent on campus together fondly — especially the tasty food they had in the dining hall.
Even so, the twins did visit a few other colleges before deciding on UNI. They both visited Iowa, and Luke was considering running track in college. John stated that if his brother was going to go to Iowa, he would have attended Kirkwood to be closer to his family, save money and be able to support his brother in his track career.
However, Luke didn’t really feel passionate about running track in college, and ultimately decided he didn’t want to pursue it.
“Once he decided not to, it kind of opened the book to the idea of going to UNI [together]”, John said.
The twins agree that their college decision-making process was very intertwined with where the other was going to go. While this isn’t the same for all twins, the Efting twins explain that they feel that they have a special bond.
“We’re each other’s best friend. I know some twins that go to separate schools and don’t even talk to each other, and I just don’t know how that could be a thing, you know, when you’re blessed with a built-in best friend,” Luke said.
The twins have always been close, explaining that they’ve had the same friend groups growing up and participated in baseball and basketball together in high school. In basketball, the twins recall that having a similar playing style would often mean that when one would get tired, the other would sub in for them, causing the opposing team to see double.
One difference in their high school activities was that when the spring season rolled around, Luke ran in track and John played soccer. Luke explains that though they are similar in many ways, they are still two different people.
“We are both our own person, but we just love being around each other,” Luke says.
Even so, being on the same sports teams together didn’t stop after high school. At UNI, the twins claim they’ve been in every intramural sport together, whether it be basketball, football or dodgeball. Luke recalled one time when the two weren’t on the same intramural team, and expressed that it wasn’t nearly as fun as when the two were together.
John agreed, “Having him around just enhances the experience, no matter what it is, whether it’s sports or just hanging out talking with friends and stuff, it’s better when he’s around.”
When moving to UNI, the twins decided to share more than just their extracurricular time together and decided to be roommates. In part, the brothers wanted to be roommates to ease how harsh the transition to college can feel, but they also voiced that they both wanted to avoid the risk of dealing with a crazy new roommate.
While the rooming together was initially a choice they made to avoid the danger of a strange roommate and to ease into college life, the twins continued to room together for the next three years.
Being so close in proximity all the time made communicating with each other much easier. The brothers confide in each other often, and Luke states that they’ll often talk to each other before going to bed, popping into each other’s rooms and speaking about whatever comes to mind.
The Efting twins firmly believe that coming to the same college strengthened their brotherly dynamic.
“The more you’re around somebody, there’s a lot to be said about the experiences you share with them, everything you go through. You get to know them more,” Luke said.
He says even the small things, like knowing what his brother likes to make for breakfast, can help him understand him a bit better. While the twins grew up in the same house, they feel that the decision to go together to college feels more like their choosing to be around each other instead of being forced to be around each other. No one pressured the brothers to go to the same place, but they feel they made the right choice in doing so.
“We did not have to go to college together. We chose each other, and it’s been a great decision for the most part,” John said.
The twins choose each other often and have always been a steady force of support for each other. They say there are many times in both of their lives when they depend on each other.
John explains that he often had anxiety when he was young, and that he always knew that he could count on Luke to be there for him.
On one particular occasion, John was in sixth grade and was having a difficult time.
“[Luke] did something as simple as make me a bookmark with a panda on it. And his making that for me meant the world to me. I think I still have it somewhere,” John adds.
Even something as simple as a panda bookmark can show a twin’s care for the other. A small, calming island in a sea of confusion and doubt.
This care clearly goes both ways, as Luke speaks about a time in eighth grade when he felt John be there for him. It was the last football game of the season and Luke had just caught a pass — but when he went to brace himself, he snapped his arm.
“I was just distraught. I didn’t know where to go. But just having him there, having his presence there, it lowered the blow,” Luke explains.
“I didn’t feel alone or anything. I felt very comforted.” John stated that the game was the only away game he went to, and on the way to the hospital, he was with Luke the whole time. In a time filled with pain, Luke felt he had what he needed most — his brother.
Life can be difficult in so many ways, but having someone there with you throughout that crazy journey can make it a little more bearable. John and Luke clearly have each other’s backs and possess a very loyal and dependable brotherly bond, one that is only getting stronger as they continue through life together. These are two individuals who continuously make the decision to be there for each other in a way that surpasses just a friendship—it’s brotherhood.
Going to college together has proven to strengthen their bond with each other, and add to the great amount of memories they have together. Luke explains how important their experience at UNI was, and how easy it is to know they made the right choice.
“I knew it was the correct decision just because we shared so many great memories,” Luke states.
A whole collection of wins and losses, of classes and practices and games and finals week stress, all of them shared with the person you feel connected to the most. That collection of memories is something you wouldn’t trade for anything. It’s something very special that very few people would get to experience, and the brothers know that.
“I wouldn’t change it,” John stresses. “I wouldn’t change it a million times over.”
